Cleanliness is next to Clean-Living and Clean-Mouthed in the Merriam-Webster online Dictionary. I would have to say out of the three I am probably not as clean-living/mouthed as I am close to cleanliness. I can't stand for my hands to be wet or dirty. Don't mind getting grease on them at work, but I have a toothbrush in the shower for under my nails. True story. This brings me to dirty bikes. Dirty bikes are gross. Clean your dang bike already. You know who you are, you lazy so-and-so. Just wipe that down every year or so. No, really clean your bike. Your bike takes great care of you, why not return the favor and give it a little love every now-and-then.
Grab one of the hundreds of shirts you have from all the T-shirt rides you have piled in the back of the closet and cut it up to make some homemade rags. Step two: get a beverage of choice (man sodas work best). Take a seat if you don't have a repair stand to put your bike in, a bucket turned upside down works or use an ice chest full of man sodas -you could work up a thirst. Clean your chain by wiping it down until it is no longer black, this might take some of you a lot of time. If you wipe your chain down regularly this is not a problem. Now clean the jockey wheels in your rear derailleur. They are the little pointy wheels that the chain makes an S around a the back of the bike that kinda hangs down. Yeah, that thingy.
Clean your crank. I love saying that, and nipples -I just like saying nipples. Clean your crank and the two or three chain rings on the crank. Make sure and get the gunk off the teeth. An old tooth brush can help get into little cracks and crevices. Now use your rag to "floss" between all the cogs on the rear cassette. Make it shiny. This is also very time consuming if you have never cleaned your cassette before now. Like I said before if you do this once a week or every two weeks -depending on how much you ride- it is pretty quick and painless. If you wait to do it after it is too late, it is going to take a lot of your time, like a trip to the DMV.
Now that the drive train is clean, just wipe down your frame with a clean rag and some sort of clean/shine product. Pledge works, and leaves a little layer of wax. Get crazy and wax your frame, car polish, bike polish, spray wax, etc... Just a little preventative cleaning goes a long way. Getting up close and personal with your bike you will notice little things, maybe a crack, maybe a cut in a sidewall, or maybe you will see just how awesome your bike truly is.
If all else fails bring me your bike and I will clean it for you, oh yeah don't forget the ice chest full of sodas, man sodas that is.
A clean bike is a happy bike. A happy bike is a fast bike. A fast bike wins.
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